Feeling tired?

I have to admit it...this snow is seriously getting to me! I have lived in much snowier climates, but that was before I had little people to bundle and get in and out of car seats, in and out of grocery stores. It just seems like spring will never come! I long to get outside with my girls and play and feel the warmth of the sun on my face.
I read this short devotional today, and in the midst of this grey winter it spoke to me!
"Life in general can wear you out. Life with children can be especially tiring - nurse the baby, change diapers, do laundry, go grocery shopping, make meals, wash dishes, drive to practices, discipline and train, play make-believe, read a favorite book, answer a thousand questions(amen!). . .how can you fit it all in one day? Do you sometimes dread waking up, knowing you're already behind? Try taking a few minutes each morning to ask God to arm you with strength. He will support you, guide you and encourage you. If you start your day with God, you may find you have more energy to actually enjoy the tasks you have before you."

As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

Prepare
If you're like me and feeling a little tired, ask God to be your strength today! And, something just for fun, if you have any great ideas of fun things to do with your children, to add some fun in their day before the spring comes - list them in the comment section!

Is there a "perfect time" for quiet time?

Q: Some say it is best to have your devotional
time first thing in the morning—that you’re
somehow more blessed if you do. Why is that?

A: Many believers have discovered the importance of
incorporating devotions or quiet time into their daily
lives. They make a point to set aside a specific time
each day for personal Bible study, worship, and prayer.
It’s a wonderful way to connect with God—to develop
and strengthen our relationship with him. Attending
church services, Sunday school classes, and group Bible
studies can help, too. But there’s something very special
about the time we spend one-on-one with God. During
his earthly ministry, Jesus himself often slipped away
from the crowds to spend time alone with his Father—
sometimes early in the morning, sometimes late at night
(Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12).
With all of our responsibilities, commitments, and
obligations, it can be a real challenge for any of us to
find a “quiet” time these days. For some, the simplest
way is to get up a little earlier in the morning. Some find
it easier to squeeze in a few minutes during the lunch
hour or their toddler’s naptime. Others say they can
relax and concentrate better in the evening.
The Bible doesn’t specify any particularly beneficial
time of day for us to commune with God. Ultimately, our
goal is to be in constant communion with him day and
night (Deut. 6:6–8, 1 Thess. 5:16–18).
So why do some believers insist that morning devotions
are best? Perhaps because, like many of us, they’ve
discovered that if you put it off until later in the day
you may never get to it. Life continually throws all
kinds of interruptions and distractions our way. Having
our devotional time first thing is a way of making a
statement about our priorities. There is a very real
benefit to beginning with a strong spiritual focus,
committing our day to God before it’s begun. It gives
us a sense of purpose. It prepares us to take advantage
of divine appointments and strengthens us in advance
of the trials and temptations we may face.
But if evening is truly the best time for you, by all
means have your quiet time then. The most important
thing is that you do it! However, you might consider
taking five minutes in the morning to review what you
studied the night before. Read a brief devotional or
choose a few Scriptures to meditate on throughout the
day. Then, with your focus firmly in place, you’ll be
ready for whatever comes your way.

by Christin Ditchfield

Prepare
What time of day do you think is ideal for quiet
time? Why?
Is your ideal time realistic considering your
schedule? If not, what other time is best for you?
How will you set that time apart to be with God?

Staying connected to the Vine

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15: 1-8

It strikes me how this passage says that every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, so it will be more fruitful. Even today, I'm feeling Him prune me...and quite frankly, I'm not a fan of the feel of those pruning shears. I do know that He wants me to learn from this, to be more fruitful in the future and to lean into the Vine for strength. But it doesn't mean that everyday is easy!

Reflect on what it means for you to “abide in” Jesus. (Other translations say “remain in me” or “live in me.”) What can you do today to be intimately
connected to Jesus? Read the passage one more time, pray that God will help
you to understand what it means to abide in Him today.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Lessons from a backyard flower bed
by Susan M. Smith

For years, I tried to make myself a “better
Christian” by signing up for more Bible studies or
taking seminars. But it wasn’t until I took a lesson
from my garden that I realized I was trying to make
myself grow instead of letting God do the work. Here
are some spiritual lessons I found lurking in my
backyard flowerbed.

Cultivate What’s Right for Your Soil

How many times have I thrown myself into a worthy project
that spread its roots and choked the life out of me? I’m slowly
learning that just because something’s a “flower” doesn’t
mean it’s meant for my garden.

In Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12, the apostle Paul teaches
that each person has different spiritual gifts, such as
teaching, serving, encouragement, administration, healing,
and miracles. These special, God-given abilities equip you to
perform certain tasks better than someone else.

If your gift is administration but you keep taking teaching
assignments because “flowers of teaching” look so good in
someone else’s life, you’re in for frustration. Not only will
teaching not grow well in your soil, your true garden of
administration will be too neglected to produce substantial
fruit. Just because a teaching job is available doesn’t mean
you need to plant it in your garden.

Don’t Be afraid of pruning

My azalea bush was struggling. Colorless leaves hung on
limp branches with sparse flowers. I tenderly cut back every
branch, assuring myself how lopping off lifeless branches
would pave the way for new flowers next spring.

Suddenly, I realized how lovingly and gingerly God removes
old branches from my life so I can sprout new growth. I
wasn’t punishing the azalea because it hadn’t yielded enough
flowers; I was doing everything I could to help it grow
because I’m fond of the little bush and want it to do well.

My friend Terri was in love with Max and intended to marry
him. Terri had never been happier. Because Max wasn’t a
Christian, Terri and I prayed for him daily, asking God to
draw him in. But when Max abruptly ended the relationship,
Terri was devastated. How could God let this happen? Was he
punishing her for falling in love with someone who wasn’t a
Christian?

On the contrary, God was trimming Max out of Terri’s life so
she’d be free to grow. It’s because God loves Terri that he freed
her to later marry Brian, a godly man who encourages rather
than hinders her spiritual development.

God doesn’t prune to vent anger. Instead, he trims our life
to help us improve because he loves us and wants to perfect
us. “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his
holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and
peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:10–11).

Weed Every Day

If I weeded every day, it would take ten minutes. But when
I say, “Those weeds aren’t so bad. I’ll get them tomorrow,”
I wind up spending an entire afternoon on my knees in the
flowerbed.

When Nehemiah set out to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, he
first repaired the city gates, including the Gate of Dung where
the people threw away their garbage every day. Establish right
now your practice of getting rid of the weeds every day by
recognizing the sins you’ve already committed and confessing
them to God, who “is faithful and just and will forgive us our
sins” (1 John 1:9).

Realize Fertilizer Helps Us Grow

Christians quote Romans 8:28 so carelessly, it’s almost
become a cliché: “And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him, who have been called
according to his purpose.” But, clichés aside, the skillful
hands of God can coax rich fruit out of a garden buried in the
smelly fertilizer of disaster.

Several years ago I suffered clinical depression when an
important relationship blew apart with the force of an
explosion. I stopped eating, cried uncontrollably, and rarely
slept. Never had I known the debilitating hopelessness and
worthlessness that came with depression. In desperation, I
began seeing a Christian counselor.

Today, I thank God for that disaster, because he used it to
change my life. The counselor and I tackled misconceptions
about God, myself, and my faith I’d carried most of my life. As
a result, I found a relationship with God I’d only dreamed of.

God didn’t desire me to be part of an ill-chosen relationship
just so he could change me. But in his grace, he used that
desperate situation—a whole truckload of fertilizer—to nurture
growth in me that might not have happened otherwise.

Water When a Drought Comes

Last year, when a lack of rain made hearty flowers shrivel
into sad-looking sticks, my weeds flourished. Likewise, when
I get into a spiritually dry place, I wither while my weeds—be
they bad habits, sorry attitudes, or a blatant disregard for
God’s direction—grow like, well, weeds. We all have seasons
when our walk with God isn’t as fresh as it has been. That’s
normal. But we can keep a dry spell from becoming a
drought with regular prayer, Bible reading, and meaningful
relationships with other Christians.

Ironically, it’s during the dry spells we’re most tempted to
stop reading the Bible or praying. But that’s when a garden
needs water more than ever! Put yourself in a position to
receive encouragement by soaking up the rain God’s already
given you—his Word, his Spirit, his communion, and his
people.

Let God Be the Gardener

Often I try to give plants room to breathe only to
accidentally pull them up with the weeds. Sometimes when
I try to give azaleas more of the acid-rich plant food they
love, I spill liquid on the geraniums, stunting if not killing
them.

That’s the kind of gardener I am, well-meaning but full of
flaws. But God is the perfect gardener.

God doesn’t wonder how to care for us; he created us and
calls us by name (Isa. 43:1). God never leaves a flowerbed
half-weeded, but finishes the good work he started in us
(Phil. 1:6). God waters us when we’re thirsty (John 4:14)
and feeds us when we’re hungry (John 6:35). God gives us
the faith to fight off the pests that would eat our fruit and
stunt our growth (Eph. 6:16). When we fail to take advantage
of his pesticides, he even restores what the locusts have
eaten (Joel 2:25). God protects us as his own children with
a blanketing mulch of adoption (1 John 3:1), and covers us
with the prayers of Jesus on our behalf (Rom. 8:34).

In John 15:1, Jesus says he’s the true vine and God’s the
gardener. According to John 15:5, we’re the branches
the gardener’s grafted onto the true vine. Our only
responsibility is to stay put (John 15:5–7) and respond to
the gardener. He’ll till the ground, prune the old growth,
send the rain and, ultimately, inhale the sweet aroma of the
flowers. We’ll cling to the true vine and grow.

As John 15:4–5 says, “Remain in me, and I will remain in
you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in
the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in
me … Apart from me, you can do nothing.”

How much simpler and richer life would be if we’d stop
trying to create our own rain and plant our own seeds, and
cling instead to the true vine and its only gardener with all
our heart, soul, and mind (Matt. 22:37)!

Prepare
It is our job to take steps to care for our spiritual life, but
ultimately we are reliant upon God as our gardener; we
must be surrendered to him as he does his work in us.
How has God been at work in your life recently? How has
he challenged you, encouraged you, strengthened you, or
changed you? Share something specific.

Paul's words on spiritual goals

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Paul was committed to spiritual growth, and made it his top priority. He encouraged other believers to run the race like one who wants to win...in other words, give it ALL you have. The best part of you, the freshest part of your day. Sometimes that's hard to imagine doing that while raising kids, managing homes, being wives...but God knows our reality. If we make an effort to begin on the right track toward having time with Him, He will make a way!

Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. You can count on this. Take it to heart.
1 Timothy 4:7-8 msg

Discipline...is that a hard word for you? It's amazing how freeing discipline is in our children's lives. Have you ever struggled with a certain issue with your child, gone on for days or even weeks, struggling with the same thing? Then, you realize you're not enforcing discipline enough for them. For my oldest, Sophie, charts are such a helpful tool. She might still struggle with the issue for a little time, but the discipline of the chart and the reward of seeing her own success bring dramatic change! She is set free by the discipline to do the right thing, and in turn, she feels good about herself. It might be easier to see in our children, but the same principle applies to us! Enforcing discipline might feel painful at first, but in time, it's freeing and rewarding! God has designed us to be in relationship with Him.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running and I'm not turning back.
So let's keep focused on that goal – those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.
Philippians 3:12-16 msg

Prepare
Do Paul's words encourage you? Do you feel challenged to start running the race like you want to win? How can you have your "eye on the goal" throughout each day? Has God ever "cleared your blurred vision" to help you see His goal for you?

Making Goals Stick

Article by Joan Esherick...edited by me.

Try these six steps for setting goals more effectively:

1) Be specific. In my work as a teacher coordinator, I meet
with Bible study teachers to help them set personal and
ministry goals. At one such meeting, a teacher mentioned her
personal goal for the year was to “grow in Bible knowledge.”
While her desire was admirable, I had to ask a number of
questions: “How will you know when you’ve grown?” “What
does growth in Bible knowledge look like?” “What steps will
you take to foster this growth?” Her goal needed to be more
specific.

As I worked with this teacher, we were able to revise her
goal from the vague—“I’ll grow in Bible knowledge”—to the
specific—“I’ll spend 30 minutes a day in personal Bible study,
5 days a week.” Her goal now expressed not only her desire,
but the means to accomplish it.

2) Be realistic. During my college years I wanted to pray
more. So I decided to rise every morning at 5 A.M. and pray
for an hour before breakfast. But I also worked as the closing
cook for Pizza Hut at that time, and rarely made it back to my
dorm room before 2 A.M. How long did my prayer endeavor
last? About two days. And in those two days I spent more
time sleeping than praying.

In a recent interview, I spoke with Christian counselor
Leslie Vernick who said, “If our goals begin to overwhelm us
perhaps that is a sign we are not living within the limits
and boundaries. God has created for us. We are human beings.
We all need to eat, sleep, and relax. Yet, at times we push
ourselves in [ways] that [ignore] these realities at least
temporarily. Then, when we can’t do it anymore we give up.
Instead, we should reassess our goal. Perhaps it was totally
unrealistic.”

My goal of early morning prayer was unrealistic in light of
my work schedule, my class schedule, and my need for sleep.
When I realized that, I replaced my original goal with a plan
more suited to my schedule: I’d pray during my 15-minute
breaks between afternoon classes 3 days a week. During my
afternoon break I sat on a park bench near my classrooms
and prayed. Unlike my first attempt, this three-afternoons-aweek
prayer endeavor lasted the entire semester. My prayer
life grew because my goal was realistic.

3) Include a way to measure your success. A good goal
will answer the questions of what, how, and when; it’s
measurable. Jean, a working wife and mother, decided to simplify her
life by getting rid of the excess clutter she and her family
had accumulated over the years. In January, she set the goal
to clean out one drawer, cupboard, or closet each week. It
was a specific, realistic, measurable goal; at the end of each
week either she’d cleaned out something or she hadn’t. She
had a means to track her progress.

By April, Jean was still going strong on her “decluttering”
routine. She explains, “The sense of accomplishment I
felt as I measured my weekly progress kept me motivated
to start the next week’s clean-up. Today, my house feels
less cluttered, and my life seems simpler because I tackle
overwhelming tasks by breaking them into smaller jobs and
keeping track of my progress.”

4) Think short-term and long-term. Short-term goals
(cleaning one closet a week) allow us to experience success
at smaller intervals while working toward long-term goals
(decluttering an entire house).

Sally was overwhelmed by the accumulating debt she and
her husband were facing, so they met with a financial
advisor who counseled them to develop both short-term and
long-term financial objectives by using weekly, monthly,
and yearly goals. “I never thought I’d like being on a
budget,” Sally recalls. “But it was freeing. When I looked
at our debt as a whole, it was too big to deal with, but by
working on it in smaller bites, it seemed okay.” After three
years of sticking to their short- and long-term goals, Sally
and her husband are now debt free.

Finances and organizing things aren’t the only areas in
which to set short- and long-term goals. You can use them
in virtually any area of life: education, child-rearing, family
life, athletics, community service, church service, personal
and spiritual growth, marriage.

When our three children were small, my husband, Don,
and I discovered how easily parenting could cause us to
grow apart. We decided to guard the health of our marriage
by setting the following goals: We’ll go out on a date once
a month; we’ll go away together without the kids for one
overnight per year; every five years we’ll attend a marriage
seminar. Over the years, Don and I stuck to our goals, and
today, as parents of three teens, we’re still best friends.
The short-term and long-term worked together to build and
maintain a healthy marriage.

5) Be flexible. Linda, who’s self-employed,
recently faced this challenge: “I’m trying to expand my home
business, so I set some fairly aggressive goals. Little did
I know my family would become victims of the flu. Now, healthy
once again, I’m struggling to make up for lost time. I hope to
get back on track, but I never considered that life might get
in the way.”

Life can, indeed, get in the way. Two years ago, I planned
to jog 500 miles over the course of a year. That worked out
to be 2 miles a day, 5 days per week, 50 weeks out of the
year. It was a specific, realistic, measurable, short-term
and long-term goal. I was well on my way to achieving that
goal when I hurt my knee. Did I quit? No. I wanted to stay in
shape, so I learned to be content walking. I had to become
flexible, which allowed me to stay on course, and ultimately
contributed to my healing; walking gave my injured knee a
chance to recover. After my knee healed, I started running
again.

6) Review periodically. Regular review allows
us to stay on course, track our progress, and adjust course as
necessary. Each year I record my goals in my datebook/planner so
they’re accessible wherever I go. In a section marked
“goals,” I list specific objectives by category: personal/
spiritual; marriage/family; professional; ministry; house/
projects. Then I set aside one Sunday every three months for
reviewing my goals. On those “review dates,” I check off the
items I’ve accomplished. (What satisfaction!) Next, I look at
what remains, and prayerfully ask the following questions:

• How am I doing? Am I still on course?
• Which goals am I encouraged about?
• Which are frustrating me? Can I be more flexible?
• Have circumstances changed since I set this goal?
• Is my goal realistic? Specific? Measurable?
• If not, what could I change to make it more so?
• Is this the right season of life to work on this?
• Have I prayed about this goal?

Based on my answers, I make any necessary changes,
sometimes crossing off objectives that are too ambitious
or impossible to fulfill because of changing circumstances.
I finish my review time by prayerfully committing my
remaining goals to God. Regular review helps me not only
to stay on track, but to guard against over-commitment and
burnout.

Goal setting helps you realize objectives are simply tools,
not promises or laws, and tools are something we can implement
anytime. As counselor Leslie Vernick says, “Don’t let falling
off track keep you from your goals. Dust yourself off and get
right back on track.” Leave yesterday’s failures behind, and
treat today as a brand-new beginning. You’ll be glad you did.


Prepare

Create a rough draft of one of your spiritual growth goals.
Make sure your goal is specific, realistic, and measurable.
If you want to share it with everyone, post it in the comment section!

Getting God’s Help with Stress

by Joyce Meyer

Today it seems like everyone’s stressed.

Yes, it’s true that we’re built to withstand a certain amount of stress, and it can help us to become better problem solvers. But we shouldn’t be so stressed that we can’t handle our day-to-day life.

There’s only so much we can take.

For example, a chair is designed to bear a certain amount of weight. And if it’s used properly, it should last a very long time. But if it consistently bears more weight than it was designed to hold, it will wear out prematurely and eventually break.

You and I were also designed to bear a certain amount of physical, mental and emotional strain. When we take on more than we can handle, we eventually break down.

The Way to Set Limits
A word we don’t hear much about today is prudence. It means “careful management: economy.”

In the Bible, prudence or prudent means “being good stewards or managers of the gifts God has given us to use.” Those gifts include time, energy, strength and health—even material possessions. They include our bodies, as well as our minds and spirits.

Just as each one of us has been given a different set of gifts, each of us has been given different levels of ability to manage those gifts.

We need to know our limits, and prevent ourselves from reaching “full capacity” or “overload.”

Instead of pushing ourselves too hard to please others or reach our own personal goals, we need to listen to God and do what He’s telling us is wise.

We need to learn to put God’s wisdom into practice so we can enjoy our lives.

Your First Step to Beating Stress
Did you know that anything can cause stress? Stressors can be big or little things. In addition, what causes you stress may not bother someone else. And what bothers you today may not bother you tomorrow.

For example, going to the grocery store may be a stressor for you, especially if money is tight. The checker in your lane runs out of change and has to shut down temporarily. You switch to a new lane and learn five of your items don’t have a price on them. The checker has to call for a price check and the line behind you grows.

Small, seemingly innocent circumstances have a way of piling up until you finally explode from the pressure.

Nobody can remove all the big and little things that cause stress in our lives. So we must learn to identify our stressors, study how they affect us, and learn how to respond correctly.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach
The world responds to difficulties by becoming upset and stressed, but our attitude and approach should be entirely different.

When we approach a circumstance already stressed out, we’re setting ourselves up for misery before we begin.

The right approach can completely turn a situation around.

Instead of stressing out and tensing up, calm down, take a deep breath and try to get some perspective on the situation. Refuse to allow your circumstances to dictate how you’re going to feel.
You may not be able to control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it. Take a proactive approach and decide beforehand what your attitude will be.

A right attitude opens the door for God to supernaturally help you.

Taking a Sharpie to your List

Eliminating goals and other commitments
may be the best thing for you.
By Kelli B. Trujillo

No offense, but I’m crossing your name off my list
with a big black Sharpie.
I’m not crossing you out of my life—just off my list.
It’s not crossing you off because you’re unimportant
or because I don’t care or because I don’t think
you’re cool.
Blackening your name off isn’t easy for me,
but I’ve got to do it.
It’s not you; it’s me.
And I’m not superwoman.
Sorry, but I’ve got to do this . . .
Blackening your name off isn’t easy for me,
but I’ve got to do it.
It’s not you; it’s me.
And I’m not superwoman.
Sorry,but I’ve got to do this...
Screech . . . (Sound of Sharpie on paper.)


This one-sided dialogue was repeated in various forms in my
mind throughout a revolutionary hour I spent with a blue
index card, a pencil, and a big, bad, black Sharpie.


Before that hour, my life looked a bit like this . . .


There were the various groups I was already a part of: a book
club, a ministry group, a home group, a Sunday-school-class
group, and a few various committees peppered in here and
there. Then there were the groups I felt interested in joining
or guilty about not participating in or somewhat pressured to
be a part of: Wednesday morning women’s Bible study, a
mentoring program at church, three more committees and
ministry groups at church, and various parent volunteer
groups at my kids’ schools.


There were also all sorts of various relationships I was trying
to maintain: “outreach” relationships with neighbors,
relatives, friends, international students, and a regular
Jehovah’s Witness door-to-door visitor. Then of course there
were the close friends who live far away in Portland and
Boulder and Istanbul and Grand Rapids and Chicago. Then
there were the Christian friends who are close by, from my
present church, from my old church, from MOPS, from book
club, from here, there, and everywhere. Then of course my
family: my husband, my son, my daughter, my sister, my
brother, my sisters- and brothers-in-law, my nieces, my
parents, my parents-in-law, my aunts and uncles, and my
fabulous 17-year-old cousin. Oh, and there were the people
I’m trying to invest in and encourage, like the newlywed
couple we go on double-dates with, the single mom I’m
encouraging, the new Christian I studied the Bible with at
Starbucks on occasional Friday mornings, the mom-friends
who I swapped parenting advice with and . . . well, trust me,
I could go on and on.


And along with groups and relationships, there were
spiritual growth habits, exercise goals, personal aspirations,
various other neglected hobbies, work commitments, and
household tasks. I felt like Bilbo Baggins when he told
Gandalf, “I feel . . . thin. Sort of stretched, like . . . butter
scraped over too much bread.”


Ignatius of Loyola outlined the spiritual practice of examen or
“examination of conscience” in his Spiritual Exercises written
in 1522-1524. In essence, examen is the habit of help, on your
thoughts and actions during a given period of time and considering
how your life matches up with what God desires for you. Christians
from various traditions throughout the centuries have practiced the
habit of examen in various forms, from formal Ignatian prayers to
John Wesley’s brutal accountability questions to simple private
reflection on the life-giving and death-dealing moments of one’s day.

(You can read John Wesley’s accountability questions in “Do You
Desire to be Told Your Faults?” from www.ChristianityToday.com and
you can also find Ignatius’ description of examen here. )


I knew I needed to assess more than one day. I needed to
look with God at my pattern of living over weeks and
months and years. I knew that rather than living with
purpose, I was aiming for hundreds of targets and missing
most of them. Rather than living richly, I was left spiritually
and emotionally poor. Rather than enjoying deep and
meaningful relationships, I’d become thin, listless butter.


Hence, the appointment with the Sharpie for some lifestyle examen.


I filled that card with every commitment I’ve got, every
person I’m trying to care for and encourage, every task or
person I feel guilty about not attending to, and every dream
I’m neglecting. I jam packed every centimeter of that poor
little card. And then I sighed.


And then I prayed.


“Lord, help me,” I prayed. “Help me get a grip. Help me get a
grip, first, on my outrageously huge view of myself. (I am
not Atlas—nor do I want to be!) Then help me see your
vision for my life and grasp onto it.


“Then Lord, help me loosen my grip on all those other things
I’m holding on to and trying to do but just . . . well, just
can’t.”

And after some prayer and after some silent staring and
after quite a bit of inner wrestling with self-imposed guilt,
I put that Sharpie to work.


I crossed several commitments and goals off that list.
(That wasn’t so hard.)


But then I literally crossed several people off that list.
(That was hard. It felt very . . . mean.)


But that blacked, blotchy, barely legible card became a
target for me. A clear, defined target to focus on that freed
me to obey and follow God’s leading rather than chasing
after all my own notions of what it means to serve him and
live life.


So if I crossed you off my list, I’m
sorry. You’ll never know you got crossed out because I’ll still be
kind and I’ll still enjoy being with you and I’ll still meet you
for coffee if you ask.


But I’m called by God to invest my energies elsewhere.
And if that’s fine with him, it’s fine with me.


Kelli B. Trujillo's newest book is Faith-Filled Moments: Helping Kids
See God in Everyday Life (Wesleyan). She blogs at www.kellitrujillo.com.

Prepare

In terms of your goals, commitments, and relationships,
are you aiming for too many targets? Are there things you
need to cross off your “list” in order to live a more healthy,
balanced (and sane!) life? Muster up the courage to write
them here in the comments or down on a piece of paper at home. Pray
about this list, ask God for His direction.